So last week MLS President Don Garber was talking to the A.P. about how the downward economy has affected sports. As an example he mentioned that in the new Yankee Stadium (the house the Ruth didn’t build and probably could not afford to watch a game in) there were empty seat. His exact quote was: “It’s incomprehensible that you watch a game, and there will be front-row seats empty”. Well, did he poke a stick at the wrong anthill.

The next day Yankees President Randy Levine (who I affectionately refer to as “Dick”), the man who runs the Evil Empire lashed out at the poor old Don with quotes like: “Don Garber discussing Yankee attendance must be a joke…; We draw more people in a year than his entire league does in a year. If he ever gets Major League Soccer into the same time zone as the Yankees, we might take him seriously…;”and “”Hey Don, worry about Beckham, not the Yankees. Even he wants out of your league.”

You see, as a soccer lover I take exception to attacks like this by the “Dick” on “The Don” (whom I admit I don’t always like). I would have loved to have a one on one with “Dick” and ask him some questions about his why he did this; questions such as:

1. So “Dick” is your attack on “The Don” just a smoke screen to hide your team inadequacies and the fact that New York taxpayers helped pay for a stadium that now sells tickets at prices that are out of reach for the average American? So instead of doing something about it you go after the smallest professional league in the U.S. and rile up the “ignorant soccer haters like yourself”. Come on “Dick”, try and stay classy.
2. So “Dick” is your attack on “The Don” a result of having the highest payroll in baseball while at the same time having one of the highest E.R.A’s in the American League and being only be 2 games over 500 as of today. Yes, I understand it might be frustrating that your really overweight pitcher is struggling, your DUI earning, dung for brains flamethrower hasn’t started that well and that your big superstar first baseman shows the emotion of Al Gore during the Clinton years, but you need to try and stay classy, “Dick”.
3. So “Dick” is your attack on “The Don” a result of watching your star, 200 million plus third baseman pop up on the news every week either with a stripper, a really old pop star, a divorce attorney, a steroid scandal, a bum hip (which could be a result of the first 2 things on the list) and now a pitch tipping disgrace (which in my book is kind of like cheating). Relax “Dick”, he’ll be back playing in no time soon and he’ll be his good old playoff choking self again. Oh by the way “Dick”, I recommend you get some earplugs for those road games where words such as “cheater” “juicer” and “fraud” rain out of stands all over the country. Thank God for that empty Yankee Stadium you can come back to.
4. So “Dick” is your attack on “The Don” a result of the fact that soccer actually is growing in popularity in the U.S and is and always will be the World’s sport. Where names such as Beckham, Pele, Maradona, Messi and Ronaldhino are know globally and are the image of top athletes (even here in the U.S; known even by soccer hating ignorants like yourself who mentioned the Spice boy) while names such as A-Rod, Texeira, CC, and Jeter barely break the hemispherical border (while at the same time breaking the scale like in CCs case). And always remember “Dick” in the case of A-Rod, as well as Bonds and McGwire, the well known connotations are not too positive, are they?

You see “Dick”, “The Don” was just commenting on the economy and how all sports are struggling, there was no personal attack, he was actually suggesting that you maybe might want to lower those prices so more people come to the games; remember, not everyone is Bernie Madoff. Remember “Dick” expensive games at Yankee Stadium and cheap games for the Red Bulls might not be a path you want to pursue in the long run. Just last July 19th a game with Beckham drew 47,000 at Giant Stadium on a weekend where your Yankees were at home. The MLS won’t displace baseball, but with all the scandals, the cheating, the over paid prima donna players and the crappy economy that you don’t seem to care about, should you really be worrying about what “The Don” has to say. Come on “Dick”, try and stay classy.

By the way “Dick”, I want you to know I love baseball and I’m not a Red Sox fan, so no hard feelings. Just to prove I don’t hate you “Dick”, here’s a clip of one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes. Feel free to read into it, or not.