New Coach!!! Not Really

By: Herschel | November 10th, 2009

In a move that probaly shows that the Wizards Front Office might know money but doesn’t really know that much about soccer, KC has removed the title of “interim” from Peter Vermes and now he is officially…, wait for it…, wait for it… the new head coach of Your Kansas City Wizards..

Applause, ticker tape, confetti, streamers… (Upon further review, please hold the steamers during the excitement, remember, we had an incident with streamers a few weeks ago, so to avoid any issues with security do not use them, even if handed out by FO personnel…)

We need to celebrate!!! Forgotten are the times where he and Curt Onalfo brought failed international players. Forgotten are the times where we could not field a potent and steady squad that we could count on to either score constantly or at least make our home field advantage count. Forgotten are times where we scored only one goal in 8 games. Forgotten are the times where players were penciled into the lineup because of their name and not for how they actually did on the field. That is all forgotten.

Seriously. The day after many of us rejoiced that a professional team in KC finally had the balls to make the right personnel decision and get rid of a locker room cancer, the Wizards give us the news that one of the guys who could not make us competitive is given yet another shot. It’s bad enough our baseball team is full of Atlanta Braves rejects (you doubt this? Pena, Pena, Davies, Chen, Mahay (gone), Colon, Cruz, Farnsworth, Lerew, and Anderson) now we decide to let this “experiment continue”?

Yes, the team showed the slightest of attitude improvements with Vermes, but definitely not enough to warrant this. Were there just no other candidates available? Is it because the expansion draft is close? and if so, don’t we all really not have an idea of who we are protecting? The Wizards President could have put that list together. I know, it’s a 2 for 1 deal: take 2 positions: technical director and head coach and only get paid for one. I know what you must be saying: “it’s the economy, stupid”, don’t you get it? Well, I guess you’re right, I should have seen it.

Three wins, 6 losses and 3 ties means that he earned 12 points out of a possible 36: 33.3% (counting all his games Onalfo actually had a 35% production this year) Can I petition to get a job where I am only right 1/3 of the time? Add to that the fact that according to the KC Star there will be “a roster overhaul” this offseason. This of course means that after a 2 week analysis Vermes has figured out that it was the players who took us down this path of failure.

I knew it!!! It wasn’t Vermes or Onalfo, it was the players; it was all their fault; but wait, wait a second… aren’t these the players THEY brought in when they cleaned house in 2007? I’m just saying…

Oh, well. I know the truly hardcore faithful will be there with their Season Tickets, but honestly I will be hard pressed to convince the economic leaders of my home that the financial effort is worth it for season tickets since it seems that the on the field product will probably be about the same (and yes Sam, I know there are those season ticket perks you have spoken about that try and offset the goal-less streaks and the sucky play and the indecision of whether we will have a stadium in the next decade and the occasional screwups from the FO when it comes to stadium experience which could make up for the fact that my money was paid in advance, regardless of how the team does). Still it’s a tough sell.

Still, for those of us who will now probably only be the occasional once a month stadium fan there’s always Metro Sports, the kid’s projector and the dark basement; throw in some FIFA 10 background team chants to try and make up for it and we can give it a try. Yes, it’s not the same thing but at least I can change the channel if the opposition puts in the 4th or 5th goal.

So, am I pessimistic about next year? Like Sarah Palin would say: “YOU BETCHA”